My 3year old son is in the sitting room, watching Disney Junior. I’m in the room, lying on the bed. I call him.
Me: Andrew, come.
He comes running.
Me: Bring my phone. It’s there on the table. (I point to the drawer in the room)
He checks. Can’t find it.
Me: Check very well. It’s there.
He looks round the table again. Still can’t find it.
Me: Go and bring Daddy’s phone in the sitting room.
He runs out, brings the phone. I collected it and dialed my number. My phone rings from the table. He runs there and finds it hiding under a small box. He brings it to me.
Me: Thank you, my baby. God bless you. Oya, go and watch Sophia.
Note: In my defense, he is always running upandan. I might as well use all that excess energy.
Andrew: Mummy, I want to go and play ball outside.
Me: No. The sun is too hot.
Andrew: (scrunches up his face about to start crying)
Me: You want to cry, abi? Oya, go and bring the cane for me. Let me give you good reason to cry.
Andrew: I’m not crying.
Note: Instant result!
Andrew: My tummy is paining me.
Me: Why won’t your tummy pain you when you have not allowed me rest all day? Doing jongbon up and down.
Note: Science is wrong. There is a direct connection between the two. I’m a mother, I know.
Andrew: Mummy, I don’t want to eat beans. I don’t like beans.
Me: Shebi, you want to be big like Daddy? You see that Daddy eats beans very well. That is why he is big. It’s beans that makes Daddy big. If you eat beans, you will also be big like Daddy.
Note: He ate the beans!
I can go on and on. My mum has the last laugh after all. Sigh!